On this site, you’re going to get a good dose of information on the courtship process. However, you must be able to establish some clarity ‘individually’ in the pre-courtship stage.
7 things to take into consideration:
Boundaries – You must be clear about lines you refuse to cross. This is a personal resolve based off your belief system. In a relationship, both must agree upon these lines, but they must also be in place before engaging in the relationship.
Financial Lifestyle – What’s your desired lifestyle and how much education, experience and money will it take to attain it? Where does this actually fit on your priority list?
Age Bracket – While most believe a small age gap is acceptable, what’s your belief? What’s too much of an age gap for you? Is five years ok – what about 10 or 20?
Roles in both a Relationship and Marriage – This relationship checklist item is probably going to be impacted by the roles modeled in the home you grew up in, your culture and your biblical beliefs.
Here’s something we shared with our Facebook family a little while ago.
“A relationship with gender roles: We are Not the same; We were Created different. Yet, through Christ, we are equal in God’s eyes. Embrace these differences because each brings something unique to the relationship that once joined together produces something even greater… AND we still cook together, clean together and make decisions together. Everyone can’t be captains on a team and everyone on a team can’t be the support staff with no leader. Both will equate to confusion.”
You must be clear in how you view these roles.
Belief system – You must be sure of two things. 1 – What you believe and 2 – Why you believe it. If you aren’t sure about these, it will affect any relationship you enter. By the way, if you are a believer, engaging in a relationship with an unbeliever puts you at odds with God.
Deal Breakers – If you know yourself pretty well, you should also know the things you simply refuse to tolerate. Deal breakers leave no wiggle room. As I stated on the Courtship Commitment page, this list of non-negotiables should not be long, but the things included should be absolute must-haves.
Personal Disciplines – Become proficient at things like being on time, operating in excellence, controlling your body and its impulses. Learn the art of telling yourself ‘no’ when a situation is not right. Become a person of integrity in the face of challenges and adversities.
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. ” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Personal Goals – Establish some personal goals and pursue them. Some may include developing your walk with God, obtaining your degree, getting certifications or purchasing a home. You don’t have to be married or in a relationship for any of these.
So before engaging in a relationship, make sure you check your list and check it twice. 🙂
Courtship. It’s Not Corny; It’s Classic!