As one person put it, ‘the first impression sets the tone and everything rises and falls on it.’ It seems clear the first impressions are the most important ones. I solicited the responses of both genders on our Facebook page to give the opposite sex a few tips on appearances and on how to approach each other. Please take a look at some of the great points given by the ladies. 🙂

• Please – absolutely no sexual comments at all when you first meet us.
• Take your hat off in a restaurant; eat with your mouth closed; don’t spit.
• You have to do the best with what you’re naturally given. You don’t have to have a million dollars. You don’t have to be a model. You don’t need to be a known entertainer. Just be the best you. That’s attractive.
• Be a man of God. That’s worth more than its weight in gold.
• Do NOT talk to us using the same verbiage you would use talking to a guy. Examples “Let me holla at you” or “I’mma holla at you later” or “Yo” or “What’s up ma” or “What’s good shawty”. I am not a “lil mama”, “babe”, or an animal to “pssss” at. Also foul language is a turn off! Speak respectfully.
• Please comb your hair unless you wear braids and if you do please make sure they are clean and neat.
• Please shave your face, trim your mustache and your beard.
• Clean breath and teeth are a must.
• Iron your clothes and pull your pants up. Real women aren’t looking for thugs.
• Be a man of prayer. Pray 1st and let God order even your smallest of steps.
• Be confident.
• Always treat us the way you want to be treated.
• Walk with masculine grace.
• Compliment us, but don’t over do it or be pushy.
• Don’t focus on our breasts and butts…look in our eyes. Please cut and clean your nails.
• All women do NOT find tattoos on a man attractive. For some of us, it’s an eyesore and unappealing.
• One of the biggest turn-offs is sounding negative. We’re not looking for that. We want a man that will inspire us – not talk about all of his baggage and pain.
• Be yourself. Wear a smile. Let things happen naturally.
• Laughter is certainly appreciated. A sense of humor is always welcomed.
• Keep it 100! Honesty is Always the best policy with us. Be honest about your intentions.
• Looks fade in time … good character stays. Get to know us.
• Hygiene matters more to us than appearance. However, if you are very hairy, it should NOT be noticeable in your ears and nose. Turn-off!
• You can’t expect to get a dime piece if you carry yourself like a nickel or a penny. A real woman of God will carry herself like a blue chip (Since men can relate to money most of the time). And if you don’t know the value of a blue chip, on the stock market it’s value is a million plus.
• A nice car won’t get you to your destination if the engine is messed up. So are all the looks in the world means nothing if your inside is shady.
• Don’t just stare. We find that creepy to say the least. A pleasant hello will do.
• Be a gentleman and have good manners.
• Do not – I repeat do not compare us with other woman.
• A simple “Hello, my name is….” will get a lady’s attention more than anything else.
• Please no sagging pants!
• Leave out the flashy jewelry – except cuff links and a watch.
• Be articulate. An intelligent man is an attractive man.
• We’re looking at your shoes too. They don’t have to be expensive, but they need to be clean.
• Turn-offs are men who are conceited, cocky, gangsters, or broke, or who don’t have a ‘real job’.
• Get in shape. We don’t need you ripped, but we do need you healthy.
• The man makes the clothes. So whatever the choice, rock the look.
• Witty, non-vulgar conversation is appreciated.
• While it would be ideal to meet him nicely dressed, if he’s in his work cloths but is still neat and groomed, we can be totally interested. It tells us that although he does construction work 40+ hours a week, he still cares about presentation. The plus side is he’s a hard worker too.
• Do NOT wear the same outfit on every date!

I know this is an extensive list, but if applied it will do wonders in your first meeting and subsequent meetings as well. 🙂


Rickey E. Macklin
7 points of power for singles
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