Eight Things Courtship Has Taught Me As A Christian Woman:
Guest Blogger: Liz-Anne De Beauville
Here are eight things courtship has taught me as a Christian woman. I sincerely hope they help you during your courtship process as well.
1 – Having someone by my side doesn’t mean that they could out-do God.
In other words, I should not let ‘him’ replace ‘Him’. While I’m getting to know my significant other, the reality is that we both need God, and it’s a blessing to know that we can seek and serve Him daily together.
2 – This doesn’t mean he’s the ‘one’.
At least not yet. Yes, we’re together and we have prayed about the decision, that with hopes, should lead to engagement, then marriage. However, at this particular stage of our relationship, we are still seeking clarity to ensure the both of us are truly meant to be together.
3 – I’d do myself good to not hide the ugly parts of me.
It’s okay that he know that I leave my clothes on the floor sometimes and that I’m still learning how to cook. It’s ok that he know I’ve been hurt in the past, and I was a bit of a rebel back in the day. If we can talk about our lives – honestly, and what our future together would be like without hiding the ugly parts, then I think we stand a better chance at having a successful marriage without having to build that level of trust later. Honesty is always the best policy.
4 – I’d do myself good to guard the deepest parts of me for my husband.
I can’t give it all away. Some bonds should only be created in marriage. And although I’m courting, the only one I choose to be united with (physically, emotionally and spiritually) is my husband.
5 – My vulnerability will be tested.
From being hurt by my ex, and generally having poor relationships with males growing up, I’ve oftentimes had to remind myself that I’ve been healed. It is because of my past that I’ve inadvertently looked at his short comings with comparative eyes, and that just wasn’t fair to him. If my present relationship was going anywhere, it was critical that I learn how to be vulnerable and how to forgive – without allowing past hurts to turn me into a bitter and untrusting woman.
6 – I can use my spiritual gifts for the benefit of my relationship!
Oh sweet discernment… the gift I ran away from for several years. Between the shock of what has been revealed to me through this gift, and finally submitting to the will of God, I’ve seen how spiritual warfare can help; not only my spiritual walk, but my relationship as well. What ever your gift is, ask God to show you ways in which you could implement it in your relationship for His glory.
7 – I should be grateful for where I am.
Not married, and not single. It’s an interesting place to be, and I’ve seen how some of my goals and priorities have shifted a bit. After learning that true love was possible, my outlook on singlehood changed. Then, after experiencing a relationship where someone encouraged me to be better, my outlook on what marriage would be like (and my potential as a person) has continued to get better. Be encouraged and keep the faith. God is no respecter of persons.
8 – I should never settle.
If courtship is the prelude to marriage, then I definitely want to keep going because the friendship we share now could only get better after we say ‘I do’. Knowing that we both waited, and are working hard to prepare ourselves for the rest of our lives together, gives me a sense of assurance that the love commitment is real. That could never be compared to my previous relationships, thus, I wouldn’t settle. There’s too much at stake (our hearts), and a lot to look forward to within the marriage covenant (family, ministry, and raising children).
Thanks for checking out Liz-Anne’s article and personal story! Here’s an article to help you in determining if the person you’re considering is Mr. Right. 🙂