Seven Courtship Success Tips


Respect Each Other

The respect I’m referring to here is in truth and transparency.  Never lie to your partner.  Sure, sometimes the truth hurts, but at least you would not have lost their respect.  Be transparent and don’t hide things from each other.  Every lie and every secret withheld will create a greater divide between the two of you.  Respect them enough to be honest.  Trust them enough to know that what you share with them in transparency will be handled fairly.


Make Your Relationship Other-Centered

Sure, I know you’ve heard that you should always put your happiness first.  I don’t have a problem with doing that before entering into a relationship.  You should strive to be happy and healthy first.  However, once you’re courting, it’s not just about you anymore.  Seek ways to please and make your partner happy.  You don’t have to like everything you do for or with your partner, but do them anyway out of love.  Your relationship requires that you be unselfish.  Never forget that it’s the small things you do over time that produces great benefits later.


Be Consistent

The person you were at the beginning of the relationship must be maintained throughout the relationship.   If you were attentive, caring, compassionate, God-fearing, responsible, respectful, and kind at the beginning – there is no reason all of those wonderful traits should change later.  While courting, be intentional about maintaining this pattern.  Consistency builds trust and trust makes you dependable.


Apologize and Forgive Quickly

When you know you’re wrong or your partner conveys to you that you have offended them, apologize quickly.  The truth is sometimes you may not have been wrong.  However, the risk of destroying your relationship is not worth trying to prove it.  In the same manner, treat your partner’s offences towards you the same way.  Apologize to them quickly as well.  Remember that when you truly forgive, you don’t bring those offenses back up at a future date.  Choose your battles wisely.


Get to Know Each Other

To love each other is to know each other.  Take your time and build an authentic friendship.  In fact, build it in such a way that your partner becomes your best friend.

Build it mentally.  Talk and listen.  Read books together and discuss them.  Share visions, dreams, and fears.

Build it spiritually.  Do personal devotions together.  Go through the bible together.  Pray with and for each other.  Join a church group and serve others together.

Build it socially.   Find community activities you both enjoy.  Visit museums and plays.  Get outside and do other things you enjoy doing together.

Invest time together.  Communicate with each other and build an undeniable bond of trust.


Embrace Your Differences

It’s ok that your partner is not just like you.  In fact, that is a good thing.  You nor your partner should ever lose your identity regardless of what relationship you may enter.  Your partner does not have to like everything you like or participate in everything you do, and neither do you regarding them.  Encourage your partner and let them grow.  Support their individuality and learn to embrace your differences.  Allow those differences to grow your relationship – not destroy it.


Leave It in the Past

Maybe you were betrayed in your past.  Perhaps you were hurt really badly by someone you thought you could trust and be with the rest of your life.  It is critical that you go through the process of healing prior to courting again.  To give your new relationship a good chance of success, you cannot bring old baggage into your new relationship.  You must leave it all in the past.  It’s great to be wise in your new choices, but it’s not okay to be overly critical.

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Rickey E. Macklin
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