Guest Blogger: Rayandria Jiles


I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been in and out of a lot of relationships. I always came out pointing the finger, and I never took the time to examine the real culprit – ME. Each time, I went in expecting a different outcome. Played and pushed to the side, there I stood. I was melting and swallowed in deep. Inadequate and never good enough to permanently hold his attention. It didn’t matter how solid we started out, it always crumbled to the ground.

I wonder if you are anything like me? Has your method worked yet?

As usual, I’m not here to tell you what to do. But I am here to pose a multitude of questions. There’s a couple of principles you may have glossed over and this is why the toxic relationship cycle continues:

1) Matthew 6:33 – Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all of his righteousness and everything else shall be added unto you. Nine times out of ten people seek the bedroom before they seek anything else. From the gate, the motive is purely physical. God is not involved and you have made the decision on your own. Everything that looks good ain’t good. A hallow decision will manifest hallow results.


2) God is not going to alter his word in order to fit your cravings. Hebrews 13:8 states that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So that means whether you decide to continue along with live-in boyfriends, one-night stands, or friends with benefits the word of God will always be true. It will never return void. God is not going to bend his word to cater to your chaos. Whatever you are craving needs to be matched up against God’s word and principles. Lack of intimacy with God and ignorance of the word of God is a sure way to end up in a dead-end relationship. Meanwhile… three years later you could end up scratching your beard and demanding a ring from somebody who has already gotten spouse benefits out of you.

3) You can rationalize it all you want, but Heaven is not going to endorse it.  Maybe you can see his potential, but let me remind you that you have also already seen him naked. At that point, you’re most likely going to begin making up things and painting a picture of him that he doesn’t fit in the least bit. You have the right to believe in your head whatever you want to believe about him, but it will be strictly believed between you and him. Heaven is not going to endorse something that the two of you put together in your own strength. Don’t be confused in your mind, God is not going to waver his standards and you can have chemistry with a full-blown devil. Blink once and you’ll be wondering what happened to your destiny. In comparison, Proverbs 10: 22 tells us that the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and add no sorrow. So is he the blessing you proclaim, or are you wrapped up in the blessing between his legs?

God put me here to make an appeal to you – HAS YOUR METHOD WORKED YET?


Check out Ray’s new book on Amazon “Raw Wounds”

Also –  follow her:

IG: rayandriajiles

FB: Rayandria Jiles

Also, definitely check out my article “Seasons of Singleness” when time permits.

Peace & Blessings


Rickey E. Macklin
7 points of power for singles
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