Guest Blogger: Rayandria Jiles
OKAY, SO BOOM. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED FAM.
Oftentimes, we find ourselves buried and tangled underneath society’s standards, traditions, and opinions. Knee deep in, the way we view others and even ourselves quickly becomes tainted. As an ex-serial dater, i.e, (someone who sporadically goes in and out of romantic relationships) my identity was trapped behind men. In those moments, nothing seemed wrong with the concept. After all, everybody was doing it. Who could fault me for it? Was there anyone to blame?
WHAT DID IT ALL MEAN?
Break up after break up, I could never become settled in what or who I thought I wanted. But, what did I really want? What was my interaction with the opposite sex supposed to be like anyway? If sex was as great as everyone proclaimed it to be, why did it feel like I was taking consecutive losses as each person exited my life? Flooded with confusion, hopelessness, and regret, the tears drenched my eyes. I watched my ex-boyfriend walk out the door, but little did I know…something was being birthed.
WERE SEX & RELATIONSHIPS DESIGNED TO BE A SOURCE OF PAIN?
The bedroom, a place that had once ensnared, entrapped, and become a place of torment for me, had become my safe place with Jesus. I read, I studied, I prayed, and I wrote. In the confines of that room, my autobiography and the entire movement “Raw Wounds” was born. I felt like I had so much love to give, but internally I was broken with daggers lingering in my back and my heart. It was in that moment that I fully surrendered my sexual and relational desires to God, that I became his bride. If God was indeed love, (1 John 4:8), how on earth was I attempting to do love outside of his ways?
HIS IMPERFECT BRIDE.
God is concerned with the state of his daughters and he is determined to reclaim his Bride’s. Abused, misused, unlearned, and undervalued, God desires to see us healed and functioning at our best for his glory. I thought that my way was the best way, but what happens when what you have been doing for decades hasn’t worked? The love placed within your heart doesn’t have to be manipulated and diminished, it just has to be submitted to God. Wholeness, restoration, and the proper understanding of love is God’s overall intent. Something is brewing between the Lord and his brides. Will you meet him at the altar in your white dress?