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There is no courtship without commitment. In fact, if you’re not ready to commit, you aren’t ready to court. While dating may string you along for years, courtship requires a true commitment from each person. Commitment is dedication—faithfulness and loyalty—to a decision that you have made. Since courtship requires commitment, it requires and teaches you to have the ability to ‘hang in there’ even when things aren’t going your way. On the contrary, dating enables you to ‘break off’ relations during hard times, conditioning you more for a divorce than a marriage.
It would be nice if, in every home, there was a loving father available to relieve his daughter’s ‘relationship stresses’ by screening every potential candidate. It would also be nice if every young man—or growing boy’s father was available and capable of teaching him how to protect and care for a woman, especially her heart. Unfortunately, neither of these are the case. Our hearts were not made to be trampled on. Proper courtship, contrary to dating which can leave you open and exposed, provides true security.
Accountability is the obligation of an individual to account for their activities and accept responsibility. Teenagers often misunderstand this word, confusing its meaning with that of control or dictation. Accountability is answerability, and it is something that is considered by those who want to see us strive, do well in life, and make good decisions. As adults, we are reminded of our accountability by close friends, mentors and spiritual leaders. We tend to be much more responsible when we know that we are being held accountable. “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Prov. 11:14
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We have to get to a place in God where we are so full in him that he is all that we are longing for and need. Yes, it is true that He knows the desires of our hearts and wants to fulfill them. But are you patient enough to wait for that which he wants to give?
If you earned someone’s love because you cook great meals, look good, keep your body tight, take the person on lavish trips, and spoil them, they will likely lose that “love” for you once you no longer have those things to offer.
I wrote this as an example of the mindset each of us should have while we’re in our season of waiting. Hope it blesses you as it blessed me to write it. I pray it produces a resolved in both and put our hearts at rest. May it be your letter to your future spouse as well. 🙂