Guest Blogger: Brittney Faith Chambers
“NEW SEASON!”
**SELF REFLECTION MOMENTS…
When a relationship ends, most of us say to ourselves, “Ahhhh buddy…what was the point of all of these years we spent together?” You invested months, or maybe even years into a courtship that proved to be non-permanent of leading to marriage. And if you’re serious about getting married, it can feel like a total waste of your time. I personally believe that failed relationships do not constitute actual failure because everything is truly a lesson learned! It’s a time to redefine your list of must have’s, can’t stands, and just say, “Not my will, but God, your will be done!”
It is a time to live out purity, be a good stewardship over your work, and grow in discipleship. Even those relationships that don’t necessarily work out, can certainty build your maturity and character. Yes, the relationship may have failed, but God did NOT fail! Please know that God didn’t take a break from loving you in the midst of someone deciding not to love you anymore. Daddy God’s love is unconditional and isn’t predicated upon a circumstance or a mishap. You may feel like damaged goods like you have been ruined in Daddy God’s eyes, or even in the eyes of those you both knew. However, this is certainly not true for a God who loves you unconditionally.
The difficult-to-believe factor is that the beautifully broken you is a far better you. I know you are probably asking, HOW? However, it is in your sorrow and brokenness you can turn to the Lord and repent of whatever sin you may have brought to the relationship. More than likely, while you were in the heat of the relationship, you may not have seen your wrong, thought about repenting, or had any level of conviction. Please know, however, regardless of who did wrong or what went wrong, you are as precious to our Heavenly Father now than you have ever been. Our Heavenly Father is going to use every millimeter of your heartache and disappointment. He is still in the process of making you more of what He has created you to be. He desires to give you way more than what you have already experienced. He wants you to experience Him fully as your Abba Father who knows what’s best for you.
In regard to the failed relationship, even if you cannot be friends with the person you have broken up with, that gentleman will forever be your brother in Christ. Of course, that’s if he is a believer. I certainly hope he is, and you weren’t wasting your time nor his being unequally yoked! Yikes! For Christ-centered relationships, breakups are never the end because the two of you are eternally bonded by your relationship with Christ.
For hearts that have been given away prematurely prior to marriage, at whatever level, either minuscule or grandiose, they need to healed. Sometimes, the healthiest thing spiritually and emotionally that needs to be done is to create space and boundaries. For certain, reconciliation does not require re-entry or closeness. It does however require forgiveness and agape love. You may ask how you would do this. You could start by praying for them. Pray that their faith would increase, that Daddy God would bring believing brothers around them for accountability, that they would heal, that restoration would come, that our Father would make them more like Jesus, that God will bless them with a spouse suitable for them, and that God would bless all their future endeavors.
As for you, be free of distractions, and be fully present with the Lord. I pinky promise you, that He has something so very special waiting for you when you put Him first. Keep prioritizing that relationship of intimacy with Him. After the emotional tidal wave has passed,
- connect with your accountability partner and close friends
- assess the season you just came out of, and lessons learned
- assess the season you are in, and the season you are moving into.
- ask yourself, “Who is God making me to be through all of this?”
The last tidbit of advice is to move forward. Your entire life is waiting for you! What God has in your future is so much greater than what you have experienced in your past.
Remember my motto: Relationships are not difficult; people make them difficult!
Agape,
Brittney Faith
For more of Brittney’s Blogs, check her out at Stepping Faith.
Also, when time permits, check out our blog post Are You Tired of Counting Partners?
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